The Center for Practical Child and Adolescent Therapy Techniques

Dr. David A. Crenshaw, Director  

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"Sounds of Children's Silence"

By David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D., ABPP

 Children speak volumes through their silence. Children can be silent for many reasons. We should never forget what my colleague Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy explains as the sharp distinction between children choosing to remain quiet versus being silenced. Some young children remain quiet because they are timid and shy or anxious which in extreme cases can lead to selective mutism. These children can be helped to find their voice with gentle encouragement and creating a relaxed natural context for them to speak.

Some children may speak loudly but feel silenced because no one is listening anymore.  You see this with angry children who feel they have to become louder and louder because they don’t feel they are being heard. With these children, creating a safe place and time within the family for them to speak and more importantly to be heard can dramatically decrease their anger and acting-out behavior.

Other children are silenced because it is not safe for them to speak. Silencing of victims is a core dynamic of oppression of all forms. Children who are exposed to violence, abuse, discrimination, threats, explicit or veiled, will not speak because it is dangerous to do so. I have worked with many children who were directly threatened bodily harm if they ever told of the abuse they suffered (Crenshaw, Boswell, Guare, & Ying-ling, 1986b; Crenshaw, Rudy, Triemer, and Zingaro, 1986b). This forced silence has often been a secondary source of trauma layered on the original abuse experiences these children suffered. For these children helping them find their voice requires slow, patient, empathic and compassionate work to build enough trust in the therapeutic context that they feel safe enough to disclose the unspeakable.  I never cease to be amazed by the courage these children manifest when they break their silence.

References: 

Crenshaw, D., Boswell, J., Guare, R., & Ying-ling, C. (1986a). Intensive psychotherapy of repeatedly and severely traumatized children. Residential Group Care and Treatment, 3, 17-36.

 Crenshaw, D., Rudy, C., Triemer, D., & Zingaro, D. (1986b). Psychotherapy with abused children: Breaking the silent bond. Residential Group Care and Treatment, 3, 25-38.

Copyright © 2007 by David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D., ABPP.  All rights reserved.